Women & The Work Family Dilemna

I read a book in a college sociology class by this same title. I never expected to be thinking about it 20 years later.

As a stay at home Mom of about 12 years, I have struggled with feelings of self worth. Is what I'm doing making a difference? Will anyone want to hire me again if I have a 20 year gap on my resume? What if something happens to my husband's job and I am called on to help support the family-could I do it? Does anyone think I am valuable? I don't get a paycheck. I don't get promotions. I don't even have annual reviews with a chance to hear some positive feedback.

Over the course of the years, I have heard comments on both sides of the work/stay at home debate. But, recently, some comments I saw on a Facebook post really got to me and so here I find myself. The comments were basically making fun of moms that stay at home: all they do is workout and never really even get dressed in real clothes; they are at the school ALL the time; all they talk about are their kids, etc.; they snub working moms.

Sigh...I can't speak for all stay at home moms, but I can speak for myself. Is it possible you aren't being snubbed, but maybe the mom in her workout clothes feels inferior standing next to you in your business suit? Maybe she is worried you think she is worthless and does nothing all day. Is it possible, without the stay at home mom involved in PTA and school that our schools wouldn't be as great as they are today? Is it possible that the stay at home mom, in fact, sees her job as a full-time mom as that- a job? And she talks about her kids out of a love and a passion for them, the same way you talk about your job? Is it possible that it takes BOTH kinds of moms to make the world go 'round?

I think this work family dilemma is one that will continue for years. I wish that women could learn to have a mutual respect for each other and choices they have made. Why are women our worst critics? In some cases, there is no choice to be made- the mom MUST work. I am happy that my 3 daughters see working women in their business suits at class parties. They are learning that women can have a career and still be attentive to their children. But, I am also happy that I have had the opportunity to spend these years at home with my kids full time.

Ok, let the comments begin. I would really love to hear your thoughts on this one. Keep it respectful, please.

Redbud Valley

Last year we took the kids on a hike to Turkey Mountain. They absolutely loved it. We intended to fit in more hiking outings, but it just got so hot last summer and time got away from us.

Yesterday we took the kids to Redbud Valley. Redbud Valley is located just outside of Tulsa, in Catoosa, and is a hidden gem. The hiking was fun, but what was more fun were the surprise caves we happened upon.

Going on these little outings with my family is great quality time. EG's love language is definitely quality time and she was in her happy place the second we got in the car. She is also an outdoorsy girl, so the hiking is a bonus. Abby also seemed to love it. No TV. No phones. No distractions. Just good ol' fashioned family fun! Hannah is on her mission trip and missed it, so we will have to bring her back!

Mission Trip

I could not be more proud of my girl, Hannah. She has chosen to spend her spring break on a mission trip to Knoxville, TN. At this writing, she didn't have best friends going on the trip, but was still brave enough to sign up anyway. I have a feeling she will come home with some best friends, though.

Saturday morning I loaded her in one of two church vans headed for Tennessee. I have to tell you what an unnerving feeling this is. I don't have a problem with her being away from home. She has been going to summer camp since 1st grade. This is the first time I have put her in a vehicle and sent her across the country. At camp, I take her, get her bunk all set up and know exactly where she is. Needless to say, I spent a lot of time in prayer on Saturday!

Luckily, the kids were allowed to have their phones and electronics for the car ride. I heard from Hannah Sunday morning. Due to traffic and construction they did not arrive in Nashville, their first destination, until after midnight only to find out the hotel had given away their rooms. They finally settled into another hotel across town at 1:45 a.m. I'm equally thankful that I was not the adult driving that van as I am grateful that they arrived safely.

Today is the first day on the job site. I'm told they are working on houses: light repairs, painting, yard work, etc. I can't wait to hear all about this trip from Hannah's perspective. These types of mission trips weren't made available to me when i was growing up.

Hannah told me this wasn't a "real mission trip" because they were only working on houses and not walking around telling people about Jesus. I didn't argue this point with her, but I am excited for her to connect the dots this week. Those kids and workers are the face of Jesus this week giving their time and resources to help others. And, I suspect, some Jesus conversations will take place.