Women & The Work Family Dilemna

I read a book in a college sociology class by this same title. I never expected to be thinking about it 20 years later.

As a stay at home Mom of about 12 years, I have struggled with feelings of self worth. Is what I'm doing making a difference? Will anyone want to hire me again if I have a 20 year gap on my resume? What if something happens to my husband's job and I am called on to help support the family-could I do it? Does anyone think I am valuable? I don't get a paycheck. I don't get promotions. I don't even have annual reviews with a chance to hear some positive feedback.

Over the course of the years, I have heard comments on both sides of the work/stay at home debate. But, recently, some comments I saw on a Facebook post really got to me and so here I find myself. The comments were basically making fun of moms that stay at home: all they do is workout and never really even get dressed in real clothes; they are at the school ALL the time; all they talk about are their kids, etc.; they snub working moms.

Sigh...I can't speak for all stay at home moms, but I can speak for myself. Is it possible you aren't being snubbed, but maybe the mom in her workout clothes feels inferior standing next to you in your business suit? Maybe she is worried you think she is worthless and does nothing all day. Is it possible, without the stay at home mom involved in PTA and school that our schools wouldn't be as great as they are today? Is it possible that the stay at home mom, in fact, sees her job as a full-time mom as that- a job? And she talks about her kids out of a love and a passion for them, the same way you talk about your job? Is it possible that it takes BOTH kinds of moms to make the world go 'round?

I think this work family dilemma is one that will continue for years. I wish that women could learn to have a mutual respect for each other and choices they have made. Why are women our worst critics? In some cases, there is no choice to be made- the mom MUST work. I am happy that my 3 daughters see working women in their business suits at class parties. They are learning that women can have a career and still be attentive to their children. But, I am also happy that I have had the opportunity to spend these years at home with my kids full time.

Ok, let the comments begin. I would really love to hear your thoughts on this one. Keep it respectful, please.

Redbud Valley

Last year we took the kids on a hike to Turkey Mountain. They absolutely loved it. We intended to fit in more hiking outings, but it just got so hot last summer and time got away from us.

Yesterday we took the kids to Redbud Valley. Redbud Valley is located just outside of Tulsa, in Catoosa, and is a hidden gem. The hiking was fun, but what was more fun were the surprise caves we happened upon.

Going on these little outings with my family is great quality time. EG's love language is definitely quality time and she was in her happy place the second we got in the car. She is also an outdoorsy girl, so the hiking is a bonus. Abby also seemed to love it. No TV. No phones. No distractions. Just good ol' fashioned family fun! Hannah is on her mission trip and missed it, so we will have to bring her back!

Mission Trip

I could not be more proud of my girl, Hannah. She has chosen to spend her spring break on a mission trip to Knoxville, TN. At this writing, she didn't have best friends going on the trip, but was still brave enough to sign up anyway. I have a feeling she will come home with some best friends, though.

Saturday morning I loaded her in one of two church vans headed for Tennessee. I have to tell you what an unnerving feeling this is. I don't have a problem with her being away from home. She has been going to summer camp since 1st grade. This is the first time I have put her in a vehicle and sent her across the country. At camp, I take her, get her bunk all set up and know exactly where she is. Needless to say, I spent a lot of time in prayer on Saturday!

Luckily, the kids were allowed to have their phones and electronics for the car ride. I heard from Hannah Sunday morning. Due to traffic and construction they did not arrive in Nashville, their first destination, until after midnight only to find out the hotel had given away their rooms. They finally settled into another hotel across town at 1:45 a.m. I'm equally thankful that I was not the adult driving that van as I am grateful that they arrived safely.

Today is the first day on the job site. I'm told they are working on houses: light repairs, painting, yard work, etc. I can't wait to hear all about this trip from Hannah's perspective. These types of mission trips weren't made available to me when i was growing up.

Hannah told me this wasn't a "real mission trip" because they were only working on houses and not walking around telling people about Jesus. I didn't argue this point with her, but I am excited for her to connect the dots this week. Those kids and workers are the face of Jesus this week giving their time and resources to help others. And, I suspect, some Jesus conversations will take place.

Ouch!!

Today I proved I'm not the budding tennis star I like to think I am. While chasing down a ball, my feet got all tangled and I fell. Hard. I have bruised knees, scraped hands, and a really swollen ankle. Sympathy comments welcome.


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The Wizard of Oz

This year Abby was selected to be a munchkin in Union High School's performance of The Wizard of Oz. I have to admit, I had NO idea how much work went into one of these shows. Had I known, we might not have auditioned. However, sometimes ignorance is bliss. She was selected with her good friend, Allie, so that helped her as well as me with the carpooling.

She had the best time and hardly ever complained about the long practices that towards the end, went way past her bedtime. She is already talking about wanting to try out next year.

Bullet Blogging

It has been so long since I have blogged that I wasn't sure how I could ever possible get caught up. Until I read a friend's blog and she did bullet blogging! Sounds good to me!

• Today is Ellie Grace's 9th birthday! I keep telling her not to grow and she keeps disobeying me! How is this possible that my baby is 9??!!
• Abby is a munchkin in Union High School's Wizard of Oz. It has been keeping us more than busy, but the debut performance is tomorrow night. I'm so proud of her!
• Hannah has not only adjusted to Cascia Hall, she is thriving and loving it. So glad we made the decision to move her.
• Daniel has been a traveling fool with his job, but is enjoying his work.
• All three girls are taking guitar. Ellie Grace got drums for Christmas.
• It's not very quiet at my house.
• Santa brought Abby a Westie puppy for Christmas. I feel like I have a newborn again. It's exhausting.
• Ellie Grace is playing basketball. It's so fun to watch this shy little girl come to life when she holds the ball. It's crazy how aggressive she can be. She loves it.
• I ran the Disney World Half Marathon in January, benefiting The Scott Carter Foundation.

I think these are most of the main highlights in my life lately. Hopefully I can get back to regular blogging. That is...if anyone is still reading.

My Mom, the Blogger

My Mom is blogging now! Don't worry, she's not posting her kids' achievements, sporting ventures, or drama. She's blogging about life as a baby boomer. I never thought I would see the day my Mom would be blogging, but she's doing it quite well. Check her out. Her link is on the left of my page "Bytes from a Baby Boomer".

PS She gets really excited about comments so drop her a note and let her know you stopped by.

Diorama

EG was assigned a project in school of designing a diorama. Now, before you jump down and look at the picture I must tell you I am not "one of those moms". I'm not crafty, or artsy, or Hobby Lobbyish. I don't enjoy projects and I think my kids should do the bulk of the work.

That being said, I cheerlead all the way. I give direction and provide supplies and I give lots of moral support.

Now that my disclaimer is out of the way....the first night we worked on the diorama I got this email to my inbox. I think she meant to send it to a friend, but I'm sure glad she accidentally sent it to me.

At arc we do this project where we get to pick a project. I picked the shoe box thing where we decorate the box. It has to be a one room school house. I love it! It's so fun!!!!

I am doing it with my moms help. She's awesome. I might do another one (but smaller) too! Everyone will like it! ARC is so fun! I love it!

As if that wasn't reward enough, here she is with her finished product. Mind you, it's far from perfect. But, to me, the fact that she can take full credit for it makes it an A+!

Life Is Sweet in Sugar Land

This past weekend we went for a quick trip to Sugar Land. It was the first time all of us had gone back together since the move. Our first stop: Lupe Tortilla, our favorite Mexican restaurant. We have MISSED this place!!!

Next we drove by our old house and visited our friends Pam and Tyler. Tyler didn't want me to take a picture, but I tried.

Abby spent 2 nights with her dear friend Megan. Megan's Mom was so sweet to include another friend, Kyla, in the playdates. Abby had such a wonderful time.

Ellie Grace stayed with us at the hotel, but got two very special play dates with Brooke and Sophie.

Hannah stayed with her very best friend, Katherine.

These two were inseparable when we lived here. It just so happens that Katherine's Mom grew up in Tulsa and her parents still live here. It's a lucky coincidence that we get to see them at least once a year! Alice was so sweet and had a cookout/swim party so we were able to see some more people. The kids had a great time.

I hung out mostly with Lazy Mom Leslie,

but we did manage to meet up with some friends for lunch.This is me with my friend, Melanie.

A funny story here. When I was uploading my pictures on my new Apple computer it had me label faces. Those of you with Apples know what I'm talking about. You label people's faces so that you can sort by say, pictures with Hannah or pictures with Abby. Well, it starts to recognize faces and ask you, "is this Hannah?" When I was tagging this picture it asked if Melanie was Hannah. A little while later I went to workout with my trainer. She said she had just seen my pictures on facebook. She said, "there's one picture of you with a girl that looks like she could be your sister." We pulled up the pics and she was referring to Melanie. Too funny!!

I also got to sneak in a lunch with my Aunt Raini and crew. Of course we ate at yet ANOTHER Mexican restaurant. They were afraid I might be getting tired of Mexican food, but seriously??? NO WAY!!!

Spring Fling

One event we look forward to every year at school is the Spring Fling. This year's theme was western. Seeing as how we spent the last two years in Texas we love a good western theme! My girls still had last year's cute rodeo shirts hanging in their closet so we were good to go.

EG's grade did square dancing. It was so precious.

Here she is with some precious friends:

Abby's grade did Miley Cyrus' "Hoedown Throw-down". It was also pretty darn cute!

After the performances we are allowed to go back to the classrooms and see what the kids have been working on. Each year, all the classes publish books that they have been working on. We stopped at EG's class first. Her book was just precious. It was basically filled with short stories, which were all events from her life. She had one page of artwork and one page of writing for each story. Everything she wrote about was just so precious, but I had to show you this one. Remember Unlucky 13? Well, EG hasn't forgotten!

Poor girl! It was such a traumatic day. She remembers it vividly and knows it was the day her daddy almost died.

Abby's class did a poetry book. They had all different poems in there, and she will definitely kill me for this, but I can't resist. Sorry this photo isn't great, and the book is still at school.

The part my camera cut off on line 3 says, "I wish that people would give me food and I would not have to clean my dish." Maybe I'm cracking the whip a little too hard over here??

Ever Wonder What God Is Trying To Teach You??

I do! I definitely think this year my family's health has either been under attack (i.e. Job) or God is trying to teach me something.

This actually started the week of Christmas. I received one of those phone calls that will stop you in your tracks. My mammogram came back abnormal. For some you, this might not be shocking, but we have NO history of breast cancer in my family. None. Zilch. Neither of my sisters or Mom have ever even been called back on a mammogram.

I had an appointment at the hospital the day before Christmas Eve. Not a very fun start to the holiday. After another bad mammogram there, they performed an ultrasound. All I was told was, "looks benign. Come back in 6 months to re-check."

Well, this didn't settle real well with me, my mom, or my doctor. My doctor made me an appointment with a breast surgeon, just to be safe. We were leaving for a ski trip the day after Christmas so the appointment would be when we returned. As much fun as we had on our trip, it seemed as if a big cloud loomed over the week. But, it was finally determined by the breast surgeon to, in fact, be benign. Whew!

The same day I was called about the bad mammogram, I must have been a nervous wreck because I sliced my finger opening a can of soup. Thanks to a good friend for stitching me up. That little finger caused me some havoc for several weeks.

Three weeks ago I woke hope with a horrible case of hives. I mean horrible I'm not going to post a picture of my face, but my lips were swollen, eyelids swollen over, etc. I looked like I had bad plastic surgery. I have never had an allergic reaction to anything! Ever! My friend, Gayle, drove me to the urgent care and I'm so glad she did. They gave me a steroid shot. When I got to the parking lot I started feeling lightheaded and before Gayle could get to me I fainted. Are you believing this story? Crazy! And of course Daniel was out of town. We never really figured out what was causing the hives, but the best guess was an allergic reaction to an antibiotic I was

taking. I probably need to go for allergy testing because every so often, like this morning, they reappear very mildly.

As if all of this isn't enough, I received a phone call from a mom on Hannah's gymnastics team. "Amanda, I don't want to alarm you, but Hannah has fallen. They have her stabilized and I can see that she is wiggling her toes." This is not a phone call any mom wants to receive. Ever! Hannah had fallen on her back. They wanted to call an ambulance, but I knew that would scare her so I raced out to get her. (yep, Daniel out of town for this one too!) Luckily, her x-rays came back perfect. I am so so thankful for that, but a few weeks later and she is still hurting so we are headed to an orthopedist this morning to have her checked out.

And finally, last night at her gymnastics class, Ellie Grace hurt her wrist. Honestly, I almost didn't even take her to the doctor. It was swollen, but she could move it so I didn't think it was broken. (Mother of the year here) But, I decided better safe than sorry, and sure enough, broken wrist. It is so swollen that they were not able to put a hard cast on it yet. Instead she has a soft cast. The doctor asked if I had an orthopedist. Well, conveniently I do and I will be there tomorrow. She sent me with the x-rays and I will talk to him this morning while I am there with Hannah.

Again, I'm not sure if I'm under attack or being pruned for His glory. But, evidently I'm a slow learner! Whether or not this is the point, I have learned not to take good health for granted. I have learned that life can change with one heart stopping phone call. And, I have learned that even though we think we are in control, we really have none.

Gymnastics Regionals

I had a GREAT weekend LAST weekend with Hannah in Fort Worth at her gymnastics regionals. Her big goal for the weekend was to make the Top Ten in at least one event. She has only been to regionals once and the closest she got was number 11. The Top Ten get awards on stage at the end of each session and so this was the ultimate goal.

She brought her friend, Morgan, from school. We had a great weekend. It started with waking up at 3 a.m. to watch the Royal Wedding. Oh yes we did!!! And after a 2 hour gymnastics practice you would think we would be ready for a nap, but instead we headed to Six Flags. I was exhausted, but the girls had a great time.

Hannah did great in 2 of her events. In her best event, trampoline, she had a major error at the very end of her routine. We calculated what her score would have been without the deduction, and she would have gotten 3rd place overall. (there were 5 states represented at this meet!) Amazingly, Hannah still got 10th place overall. This tells you how good she is on tramp that she can mess up and still make Top Ten. She was disappointed, but overall very happy with the whole weekend. She not only made the Top Ten in tramp, but in her other 2 events as well. (one 6th place and one 3rd place!)

It was a GREAT weekend!

Mother's Day 2011

This was probably the best Mother's Day I have ever had. It actually started a little earlier in the week when my computer crashed. It was deader than a doornail. I have been wanting to switch over to a Mac so this was the perfect opportunity to do so. After a couple of days of frustration and many, many hours on the computer I am finally up and running!

So, this morning I was blessed to have my little darlings give me multiple cards and pajamas. Pajamas are on of my favorite things, and now that my favorite store Soma has arrived in Tulsa I'm set!

Church was awesome, as always. I think I sometimes take for granted the fact that I am married to a God-fearing man who is willing to make God and church a priority. I am so thankful that I don't have to nag my husband and kids each week to get to church.

lunch out, we headed out for a brand new adventure. We went hiking at Turkey Mountain. For those of you that don't live around here, we are fortunate in Tulsa to have this little hidden treasure in our backyard. For years I have heard seedy rumors about the things that took place at Turkey Mountain, but after reading about my friend Katie's adventures, we decided it was safe. It appears like the parking lots and some of the trails have been redone. There were tons of hikers, families, bikers and picnic-ers. Our kids (and us) had an absolute blast! We hiked 2 miles and could have gone further. This is a must-do for every Tulsan. We will be making a repeat appearance for sure!

As the day comes to an end, I am blessed to be listening to Abby and EG practice their guitars. Sheer joy!

So pretty!

I know I'm biased, but those are some of the prettiest Tulips I have ever seen...and the girls aren't bad either!


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Clean Eating Greek Salad

All I can really say about this is, "YUM!!" I got this recipe out of The Eat Clean Diet Cookbook. I love serving different types of chilled salads in the spring iand summer, and this is a bonus because it's so healthy. If you still haven't bought this cookbook, you need it!!

A Sweet Sight

I was putting laundry away in Ellie Grace's room tonight and this was on her nightstand. Every time I find evidence of my kids reading their Bibles or making their prayer lists I melt. Pretty sure God feels the same way when He sees any of His children doing the same.






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A Star Is Born

After years of living in her big sister's shadow, Abby has finally found her niche. She auditioned for the talent show this year singing "Back To December". Here is the link to watch her performance on You Tube.

She did so great. After a dress rehearsal and 2 performances, she started loving that stage! As luck would have it, our music minister and friend, Jon Ward, coincidentally asked her to sing with him this week at church. She was beyond thrilled. He sang Casting Crown's "Slow Fade" and she had the child's solo at the end.

Her Juju and Paki took her shopping for the occasion. They dressed her from her headband all the way down to her shoes. I told her she should ask to sing more so she could get more clothes. She said they made it clear this was special because it was her first time. Shucks!

Click here to see Abby. She's at the end, but don't skip ahead because Jon is great.

She got to sing in both worship services and really did great. She's got the bug now. She asked me this afternoon if she could start singing in coffee shops and hotels. Um, I think we will stick with church and school for awhile!

Chicken Nacho Cheese Soup

This is another recipe from Amy. We had this quite often when we were first married. And then I started having babies and toddlers and went through that period of life where you can't serve soup for dinner. Remember those years? Toddlers just aren't interested in soup, and if by some chance they were, it would make such a huge mess it wouldn't be worth it.

I resurrected this recipe this winter. Wow! Should have brought it out sooner. It's a huge hit with the kids. I should warn you, though. If you are looking for healthy meals stop reading now. Come back another day. This soup is so good, it's almost like serving queso in a bowl. It's especially good on a cold winter night.

You'll need:

2 quarts water
1 whole chicken or 3 pounds chicken pieces (I use a rotisserie chicken for extra ease)
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 can fiesta nacho cheese soup
1 can rotel
1 small block of velveeta cheese or 1/2 of the normal size block

Combine all ingredients in large stock pot and heat on stove until cheese is melted and rolling boil is achieved. Serve with tortilla chips. Enjoy!






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Corn and Rice Casserole

This recipe is from my sister-in-law, Amy. It's an absolute favorite of both of our families. We serve this every Thanksgiving, and it my house it has replaced the cheesy potatoes with the corn flakes. It goes great with most meat dishes: brisket, pork, ribs, and even BBQ chicken.

1 package mahatma saffron rice (cook according to directions)
1 stick butter
2 cans mexicorn-drained
1 can cream of chicken soup
1/2 cup grated cheese

Mix all together. Bake at 350^ for 30 minutes until bubbly.




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Beef...It's What's For Dinner!

I got this recipe from my awesome trainer, Dawn. If you are in the market for a trainer you can find her here. Not only is she the world's best personal trainer, but she is always helping me plan healthier meals for my family.

Here's what you'll need:

3-4 pounds of beef tips (extra lean)
1 large container of beef broth- you know, the really big one
1 onion cut into chunks
1-2 green bell peppers sliced
Garlic salt to taste

1 package whole grain egg noodles

Combine the first 5 ingredients in large baking pan. Cover and cook on 325 for approximately 2 1/2 hours. Check every 30 minutes or so to make sure there is still plenty of broth. Add more as needed.

Cook the noodles and top with beef tips. I served mine with peach slices. This is an absolute favorite of my kids'. The beef cooks so tender. Enjoy!





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